Lesbian Love...

Hmmmmmm.....
Don't get soooo excited... It really isn't what you think... lol

According to Wikipedia...

The word lesbian in English was originally an adjective referring to the Greek island of Lesbos. From antiquity Lesbos was associated with female homosexuality because of the homoerotic verse of native poetess Sappho. The ancient Greek rhetorician Lucian used "Lesbian" as an adjective to refer to female homosexuality, but the most common term used by ancient writers was Tribade, which could mean either a masculine woman, or a woman who has sex with another woman.

I really don't know why there are single sex schools... This is such a bad idea on every level because the same things that the schools are trying to prevent are the same things the students get so obsessed about and fantasize till they have to settle for what is available to them...

I attended a well known single sex school in Nigeria... It was a great idea, when I was a junior as there were no boys to distract you. Our small minds were not even capable of those kinds of thoughts at that stage. Even when I went home on holidays, I just had a few crushes which died down within a few days… Except K…

Let me digress a little and tell you about K… I met K at a summer school between JS2 and JS3… I’m not sure if it was K who had the major crush on me or if I was the one who had the major crush on him…lol… This was nothing sexual though, it was just your usual shy runs… He was really sweet, unlike any of the other 12 year old boys in existence… I knew he also liked me because of all the other girls in lesson; I was the only one who got an invite for his birthday party. K was actually my first major crush, which ended after summer school… Although I still remember him a lot… We hooked up on FB a couple of weeks ago and we plan to hook up in person in 2 weeks… eeeek… I will tell you all about it when it does happen…

Ok, back to my gist… My first and second ever sexual experience in life happened when I was 14 in SS2, and when I was 15 in SS3 both with girls…

In my secondary school we had this thing where on Valentines Day; girls give each other presents… The person you give a present has been pre-determined by a bunch of your friends… The person is usually either your senior by a year or your junior by a year, depending on if you were in SS2 or SS3… Sometimes, girls became unusually close to girls in their set… This phenomenon was called Alovee (pronounced ar-lurv- eh)…

Anyway, I never hit it off with any of my alovee’s… Junior or Senior… The junior one always did my hair, which was great as she became my friend and personal hairdresser… lol… (The Alovee thing came with perks…) and the senior one was just there… We were friends and actually still are… I just thought the whole Alovee thing was glamorised lesbianism…

In SS2, I had this sit mate I was very good friends with… We were actually sit mates from SS1 to SS3… UO and I were just cool like that… We were quite close and even during summers; we hooked up, attended parties together (… I remember when KC boys would have parties and call them names like “Men in black” lol) and all that stuff…

Anyway, I always suspected that she had le-le (girl on girl action) tendencies… She was/is soooo boyish… You know how you get those people on Jerry Springer saying that they feel like they are a man trapped in a woman’s body… That was basically UO….

Even in conversations she would be like “You girls”. She really did not really see herself as a girl… The only thing that was feminine about her was her boobs… I remember one day she made a statement saying “I really want to be a gynecologist, so I can get to see women’s pussy’s”… Seriously, she said that…

My suspicions were confirmed one evening in school; we were studying together in her room as it was usually very quiet when most people had gone for prep… All of a sudden, she started kissing me (My very first ever kiss)… It felt so weird, so I retracted… We never spoke about it again and I have never told anyone about it… UO and I are still very good friends till date, even though she lives in Yankee now…

In SS3, UO had several girlfriends… She was the confirmed player of the set… It was mad… Girls used to fight over her and cook for her… Even my bunkmate, who actually had a boyfriend in University (Story for another day…), would beg me to ask UO to come and see her… I would leave the room for them to “spend time together”

For the record, UO has now come out openly as a lesbian… and I still love her to death…

In SS3, there was this girl in my set…T… We somehow became so close… I really can’t remember how, but I REMEMBER STARTING TO HAVE SOME MAD FEELINGS FOR HER….. This was so weird… It really did not feel weird at the time though… We did everything together, she was in a different living block, but I was either always at hers or she was at mines’… We would go to class together, steal some time together between classes, have lunch together, go back to the hostel together, head back for prep together and sleep together on the same bed… Nothing sexual ever happened until one day, we were both lying on my bed and reading. Then NEPA took light…

So we started talking, and all of a sudden, SHE KISSED ME… The thing is it actually felt good, so I KISSED HER BACK… No, it didn’t stop there… (As I recollect this… I cringe)…. We touched each other for a while in the dark and then NEPA brought light…. After this, we never spoke about what happened and it never happened again… When we were leaving school, I remember us both crying our eyes out, cos I knew I wouldn’t get to see her for a long time… She lived in Ibadan and I lived in Lagos, plus I was moving to London in 2 weeks… She wrote me a letter once though, which my mum brought to me by Christmas 01… We have completely lost contact 8 years later….

I still remember how she always told me how beautiful I am and how she wishes we could spend the rest of our lives together and remain this close… It felt both wrong and right at the same time…

For the record, I am as straight as it gets, I have never ever been remotely attracted to any girl, even with T, it was more of an emotional connection…

So that’s my gist for the day…

Looking forward to going out tonight… Will be maddd fun cos I’m meeting up with my crazy friend Dodo… and I will be wearing my new pair of “I’m sorry” Ted Baker boots, courtesy of Muffin…

Happy Friday x x

Why do we expect sooo much from people?

This is a topic I have been thinking about for a very long time...


Do we expect so much from people because we give too much to people or do we just expect people never to disappoint us?
These are questions I will probably never get answers to… but how do you trust someone again who has hurt you real bad in the past? How do you know you trust the person?


I usually invest a lot of time and effort in all my relationships with friends, family and boyfriends… and there are certain things which are my principles and would always be.
For example, when Muffin and I got back together, I told myself that I would love him like I have never been hurt before… A lot of people would prefer to guard their heart and just take what they can get, rather than give 100% of their time and effort to the person. I AM USUALLY QUITE OPTIMISTIC WHEN IT COMES TO PEOPLE AND I BELIEVE THAT MOST PEOPLE DO NOT SET OUT TO HURT YOU…
Some people think this is a very ignorant way of living, but because of this I think I am a very happy person except when people let me down…
Don’t get me wrong, I have been hurt by people a lot of times… When I say a lot, I actually mean a lot… and no matter how hurt I am, I always tend to be quite logical in my thinking…I will give some examples…


When Anna hurt me, I decided I would never have a close friend again. I felt so betrayed that someone I loved soooo much could hurt me soooo bad… But then I thought about the whole situation and what could have made her do what she did… I really could not find a reason, and then it finally hit me… Anna has always been a very competitive person and even though she was my friend and happy for my accomplishments, she probably felt jealous of them… You may think I am only trying to justify what she did, but many of us are guilty of the same thing… JEALOUSY DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON; IT ONLY MAKES YOU HUMAN… In the past, I have had jealous feelings of my friends a handful of times, but I have been very conscious of it and I tend to convert those negative feelings into positive ones… Like when a friend/colleague was presented with a CEO award at work, I was really happy for her but at the same time, I wondered why I hadn’t been presented with one, So instead of harbouring those negative feelings, I converted it to positive feelings of motivation and I set myself a goal that by the next time CEO awards were being presented, I will definitely be included.


When I have been hurt by boyfriends, even though I loose all trust and respect for the person, I always know that it is not about me. 99% of men will hurt a woman at one point or the other and it usually is never the woman’s fault… These things just happen.


So why are we soooo surprised and unhappy when these things happen? People are only human and they will always do what feels good to them…


Yesterday, I glanced at muffin’s phone and I saw a text from some girl who he claims is his friend… The text read… “PELE OH, I HOPE YOU ARE NOT TOO STRESSED. I MISS YOU”
What does that mean? You ask… I really did ask the same question…
This is a girl who he speaks to on the phone very regularly, who has made her feelings for him very clear and has specifically said to him that she does not want to meet me and does not want to be my friend… Obviously, her intentions are very clear… So I immediately flared up and confronted him about it... I had to be very quiet as my mum was at home… Muffin had taken the morning off work to pick my mum up from the airport, so I had to be quite discreet…
Obviously, muffin did not find it funny that I had looked at a text on his phone… After a quiet argument, I asked myself the very same question I have asked for a while… Why do we expect so much from people….? YOU WONDER WHY I ASKED…


When muffin left for work, I was sitting and watching TV with my mum as well as surfing through Facebook (I also took the day off work to spend time with my mum)… Then a text came into my phone… It read “HELLO GORGEOUS, I MISS YOU A LOT, CAN I CALL YOU? I REALLY NEED TO HEAR YOUR VOICE”


OH MY…. What would muffin have said if he saw that text? Haaaaaa, the score would have been flipped soooo bad…
By the way, this text was from a friend, I know he likes me and would want a whole lot more than friendship, and he knows I have a very important someone in my life… I have never had anything to do with him, but I really enjoy the attention I get from him… He is such a warm and lovely person, but someone I could never be in a relationship with… Plus I would never ever hurt muffin… But at the same time, it would hurt muffin if he saw the text and he would probably assume the worst… Would I call myself the names I called muffin when I found the text of his phone… Obviously not…


Now, back to my question… WHY OH WHY DO WE EXPECT SOOOO MUCH FROM PEOPLE? When we are sometimes guilty of the same pleasures? Perhaps, because we feel we know our selves so much and know what we are capable of… but we are not completely knowledgeable on the other person’s capabilities… because, if I never saw the text, I would be none the wiser and Muffin would never feel hurt regarding the text because he will never ever get to see it …


We need to try to give human beings some slack, as long as you know the person you are dealing with is human and is capable of making mistakes…



Happy Wednesday x x

Loosing an unborn child...

Last week Friday, a colleague of mine LOST HIS CHILD AT BIRTH. This is so unbelievably sad. I am a very emotional person, so when I heard the news, I found myself crying uncontrollably. I had to go to the loo for about an hour to control myself and the fact is that he is not even a friend.
I was soooo sad on Friday, and then I got lost in my thoughts and started asking myself a few questions....

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH LOOSING A BABY YOU HAVE CARRIED WITHIN YOU FOR 9 MONTHS AND THEN AT THE LAST MINUTE, THE BABY IS STILL-BORN?
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO SOMEONE WHO IT HAS JUST HAPPENED TO?

I think that is the worst thing that could happen to a couple... Absolutely nothing tops that...
In Nigeria, and most other African Countries, they would probably start looking for whom to apportion the blame to... They will either blame the woman, who is in the most agony, and call her a witch, that she has eaten her own baby… Or they would blame some innocent relative who has no idea about the whole issue...

This is very unfair... Why aren't we Africans more supportive with one another? Why do we always look for who to blame for our mishaps...I'm not saying I do not know that there are evil people out there who would stop at nothing to make other people miserable... but still...

This reminds me of a story my mum told me about her aunty...
Apparently, her Aunt’s son was to get married to some really nice lady which she did not like. She actually said to her son that she forbids him from getting married to her. However, he still went ahead to marry her. You won't believe that from the moment they got married, his Koko stopped working for her... It actually worked for other women, as in he started having sex with other women.... But they just could not get it to work for her... How sad...
IS IT HIS OWN MOTHER THAT WOULD DO SUCH AN EVIL THING TO HER OWN SON? You decide.... As for me, I am undecided... I believe if you believe that only God has the final say on you life, no evil person can have a hold on you...

Anyway back to the main topic...

My colleague would probably come back to work next week and I have no idea what I would say to him... I am just so scared I would start crying again, which would just worsen the situation...

Life can be really unfair....

Unhappy Monday x x

Psycho X – Continued….

I am finally inspired to complete this post… It really has been a journey and I thank God he has seen me through it… I believe it is all this drama that has created a special bond between Muffin and I. I have seen muffin grow from a boy to a man and I have seen him improve on his situation handling skills… I have also really grown and I am also wiser (I believe) with the way I handle situations…Muffin is really a blessing and I believe I am blessed to have him… Even though sometimes he does annoy the hell ouuta me… I still love him at those points…

Life is really funny… I sometimes look at some of my friends in “Perfect relationships” and I wonder why I can’t have that… Then in not such a long time, the so called perfect relationship crumbles at the first sign of issues… It really isn’t possible to achieve perfection but it is acceptable to strive for it…

Ok... back to the main point… I really have a good mind to replace the title of this post to “The test of true love”… but I will let you decide on that one…

THE DRAMA STARTED AGAIN…

When muffin and I got back together… Things really weren’t as they were… I knew I loved him, but I just couldn’t open up again… He even noticed that I wasn’t as “everything” as I used to be… We spent some time together, but not like before… We fought more often than we loved… Then it began to seem like a whole lot of hard work… Perhaps, something within my spirit knew that things were not completely right with muffin…

I became really controlling and paranoid… I tried to control everything from how I felt about him to how he felt about me… and muffin is not the kind of man you can control… He really tried to make things right but it was just not happening…

UNTIL ONE DAY…

I was speaking with muffin over the phone, quite late at night and then I heard a buzzer (not his buzzer)… I THOUGHT HE WAS HOME….

He then suddenly wanted to get off the phone… I knew something was wrong… I didn’t let him…

Then suddenly I HEARED THAT SAME MENACING VOICE… SAYING “SO YOU ARE STILL ON THE PHONE”… I WENT MAD…

I could not believe it… after all the drama… Muffin was still entertaining that fool…

Things were not even really working for us at that point so I thought what the hell… I don’t even care about you anymore… DO WHAT YOU LIKE… I WAS CRAAAAAAZZZIIIIEEE…

There were several calls and texts that were not answered; he eventually came over to my apartment the next day… TELLING ME SOME COCK AND BULL STORY, I REALLY COULD NOT CARE LESS ABOUT…

Anyway I decided to let go emotionally, but not physically… Obviously at the time, I did not think it would be close to impossible to achieve that…

Anyway, I kept on getting hurt… Muffin kept doing stupid things… Drama kept happening… I began to feel like the other woman because I was no longer emotionally connected to muffin… or so I thought and regardless of what I did or what muffin did… All I could ever think of was… “Muffin being with Psycho”… I know it is sick… but that was the only thought that kept clouding my mind…

Before I knew it, my once sky high self confidence was at an all time low… I started selling myself short… I forgot what I was worth… but I just couldn’t let go… TILL I WAS DEALT ONE FINAL BLOW….

I KNEW I HAD TO LET GO… So I did…

The final blow was in the form of Psycho x picking up muffin’s landline on the night of her birthday… At the time, muffin was on the way to his folks place…

Hmmmm… I really don’t know why I called his land phone that night after speaking with him… But I guess something somewhere was looking out for me…

At this point, I wanted to make sure that muffin really hated me and would never speak to me again… I wanted to cut him off in the worst possible way, so I said some terrible things to him…. Ohhhh Gosh, I cringe when I remember the things I said… and it was over…

IT WAS HARD…

It really was… He is the only man in the entire universe I have actually really loved… He is the only one I have had that real connection with… I am quite tough person… (Or so I would like to think)… but this was hard…

Muffin’s mum called me every other day to check up on me… I cried and cried like I had never done…. I never imagined I could cry soooo much for a man… I guess it was all a combination of how I had been a fool, the amount of drama I had been through for him, how much I still loved him but desperately wanted to hate him… The endless quarrels had come to an end…

SO I PRAYED…

I prayed to God to see me through… It was too hard for me to deal with all of that on my own… My heart could not handle it… So I GAVE MY HEART TO GOD…

After a while…. Things were good… I was finally happier!!

I had loving friends in my life… I was going out again, having the time of my life… Men professing undying love for me… AFTER THE FIRST DATE… lol

It was good… Muffin and I started talking again… I had forgiven him for everything… He acted very stupid… I acted very stupid… But most importantly all that was in the past…

Then the whole other drama happened that I mentioned in my 2^nd post… The one that happened around my birthday… So we stopped speaking to each other for a while and then started speaking again… AS FRIENDS…

He would sometimes come over to my place and we would just talk for hours, it was great… I couldn’t deny the fact that even after all that drama, he still remained my best friend … He finally opened up to me ABOUT EVERYTHING… Sometimes it is very important to see things in a relationship through the eyes of being a friend, rather than as a girlfriend/boyfriend… It really makes you a very understanding person… I always gave him open and honest advice because at that point I really could not see us ever getting back together… TOO MUCH HAD HAPPENED…

I WAS WRONG THOUGH…

There was no one in his life and there was no one in mine… I knew he had a string of girls that were constantly calling him and even one that had even announced to the world that she was dying for him... (Seriously, in her words)… It was entertainment for me, cos we would sometimes use these girls to catch trips… He would sometimes let me pick up his phone when they call and pretend to be his wife and warn them… Some of the conversations were quite hilarious…

At this point, we were closer than we ever had been… He had finally gotten rid of psycho x, even though she still sent him Facebook messages sometimes telling him how much she still loved him and wanted him back….

He was being completely open with me…. To be honest I’m really not sure when we started dating again, it happened soooo naturally… IT REALLY JUST HAPPENED…

There were no conversations; we just knew we wanted to be with each other all the time… and to tell you the truth things have been great ever since…It’s been a year and a half and I REALLY HAVE NOT BEEN HAPPIER….

OFFICIALLY DRAMA FREE…. Thank God…

It’s so funny, because if I had a friend who went through half of what muffin and I went through, I would advice her never to go back to him… Sometimes it is very important to listen to your heart … and not people… Don't get me wrong, there is nothing like good advice, but only your heart can lead you in the right path...

Some people thought I was crazy… MY FAMILY AND FRIEND'S DID… But I knew what I had and what I wanted… Only you can tell if your man really loves you and if you have something worth fighting for… Psycho x has been cut off completely… No conversations… She has finally gotten the message…

I fought for love and I won…

Happy Thursday x x

Psycho X

Last week Saturday, one of Muffin’s very good friends came over to spend the weekend with us… I really like the guy, he is soooo calm and mature and really good to talk to… Anyway, we started talking about muffin’s psycho x and how the whole drama started 8 years ago… I must warn you, this story is very unbelievable. I often have to pinch myself as it sometimes seems so surreal.

Anyway, this is how my story goes.

When I met muffin, I had no idea there was any psycho x. We instantly hit it off from day 1… I know it sounds like a cliché when I say that there was instant chemistry… but really there was. I met muffin through his friend… Let’s call him Mex… Mex liked me, but there was chemistry between Muffin and I… Anyway Mex wasn’t very happy about this when he found out, so he stopped speaking to me…

Anyway, everything had been very good between muffin and I, until one day, when I received a disturbing phone call, from who turned out to be Psycho x. It was extremely worrying as Muffin had never mentioned this person, who had been claiming to have been Muffin’s girlfriend of 4 years. Muffin had told me about all his ex’s, but had never mentioned this person.

She actually sounded very nice on the phone. We had a 2 hour long conversation, because I really needed to get all the details from her. She told me all sort of things about their history (which all eventually turned out to be a lie). Anyway after this conversation, I confronted muffin over the phone as we lived in different towns at the time. At first, he dismissed it foolishly and said he would rather not speak about her. Obviously this roused my suspicions, SO I GAVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM…

I told him I won’t speak to him, till he tells me the details of what happened between himself and this person.

Anyway, he told me about how he had a girlfriend when he met her and how from day 1, she became very obsessive. She harassed everyone she knew that knew him for his number. Muffin was only 19 at the time and she was 15. Soon after, she became friends with Muffin’s sister and started visiting their house, in order to get close to muffin, which she did. Soon after, she was apparently no longer a virgin, all thanks to Muffin. Anyway, that was the start of Muffin’s woes…By the way; they never did have a relationship. Muffin was just a typical 19 year old boy who took advantage of the opportunity thrown in his face….

She harassed and abused every girl that came into muffin’s life. I think Muffin allowed this because of the attention he was getting. Soon after, she moved to Yankee for school, and you would think she would have given up by this stage… Naaaah

She started spending a lot of money on muffin, buying him gifts and all manner of things. At this stage, muffin was in a very serious relationship with his ex before me. They dated for 3 years, after which muffin moved to Jand.

Every time muffin tried to end it properly with this girl, she would threaten suicide… (She never did attempt it though)… She stopped attending school and eventually got shipped back to Naija by her parents…

Once she locked herself in her room and refused to eat and when her family realised it was quite serious they called muffin and her mum actually knelt down to beg muffin to consider her… Oh my…

At this stage everyone knew it wasn’t looking pretty… She even embarrassed muffin’s ex once in a restaurant in Naija… Insulted her and threatened to slap her… and the funny thing is that muffin and ex had broken up at this stage.

So rewind to her conversation with me. She basically told me many things, to scare me off muffin as she new that muffin and I were relatively new. She also said she would be moving to Jand soon to be with muffin…

When muffin told me all these things I decided to check with muffin’s sister who confirmed everything. So I decided to ignore Psycho-x… Not knowing that THE DRAMA HAD ONLY JUST BEGUN…

So by Christmas 06, I thought the psycho was gone… little did I know. I came to town to spend Christmas with muffin, everything was fantastic as I had not seen muffin for about 2 months…

UNTIL THE 23^RD EVENING…

Muffin and I went to the shopping mall close to his place and we just sat to have something to drink, when one person, appears from nowhere and starts shouting at muffin… It turns out that this was psycho-x… Apparently, she had been calling him and he had refused to answer her call for days… Perhaps, because I was there…

So as the drama started unfolding… (You know onyinbo people like action…)… They started to gather oh… because this monster decided to cause a scene… Muffin then held my hand and started walking off… She just stood there in the street crying…

Oh well… I decided not to talk about it to muffin till after Christmas.

When we did, it turned out that the monster had been harassing muffin all this while, so he decided to just leave her alone and let her think what she likes..

Even muffin sef, na wa… Psycho x had been cooking and bringing to his house, spoiling him with gifts, and he too was accepting… I was soooo upset with muffin; we had this huge argument on the 28^th… It was our first BIG fight… Gosh, it was intense…

WE ARGUED AND ARGUED, HE WANTED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE, I COLLECTED HIS KEYS… HE STRUGGLED WITH ME FOR THE KEYS, THEN GAVE UP… WE ARGUED SOME MORE, I WANTED TO LEAVE, HE DID NOT LET ME…. WE ARGUED AND SHOUTED AND KEPT QUIET AND ARGUED SOME MORE, AND BY THE END, WE WERE BOTH SOOOO EXHAUSTED… WE JUST TOOK A NAP…

When we woke up, muffin apologised and held me and I cried my eyes out… I was facing a huge dilemma… I wanted to leave muffin because of all this drama, but I also did not want to leave him because of that nincompoop....

So I decided to fight for him… (Not literarily)… I was not going to let that animal that has been fighting every girl out of his life to come in between us…

So by my birthday, which also happens to be Valentines Day, muffin came over to my town. He came in quite late, but it was so nice to see him, because I had not seen him since that whole drama filled Christmas period. I had decided to ignore Psycho x… She had been putting all sorts of things on her Hi5 page, to piss me off… Honestly, sometimes, it did really piss me off, but other times, I decided to ignore it…

I remember 2 times in March and April of the same year when I came to see muffin, the bitch came to cause drama in muffin’s house.

She said all sort of things… She even went as far as saying that on Valentines Day eve, before muffin came to see me, they had sex like 4 times… OMG…

By April, I had enough… I was job hunting, preparing for my final exams, working on my dissertation and I just did not have the capacity to deal with Muffin’s issues, so after the last drama filled visit… I decided to call it off… I believed that if muffin is for me, he will come back to me and I did not have to fight so hard to make things work. That is his job… The line between truth and lies had become very blurred… I had become a paranoid mess. I could not trust muffin anymore… The issues were too much…

IT WAS HARD… It was very hard… I met a string of people at the time… but no one was as good as muffin. I just could not open up to anyone again… I WAS STILL SOOOO MUCH IN LOVE WITH HIM… We started speaking again a couple of months after, just before I moved to his town. It turned out that the best job offer I got was in Muffin’s town… It was one I had applied for and attended interviews for while we were still together. I accepted the offer.

On the day I moved, muffin came to help me unpack into the serviced apartment the company had organised for me. We talked so much and then decided to get back together because we had both been so miserable without each other. I had missed him soooo much and I really couldn’t care less if Psycho x was still on his case or not… I know that was quite stupid because it was like going back to square 1.

THE DRAMA STARTED AGAIN…

Okay… seems like a sensible breaking point… I will complete this later on in the week…

Happy Monday x x

Its the last day of the week and the last day of the month...

Ok let’s see... What have I accomplished this month?? Hmmmm...
Even though this year has been quite short...October has been very long… I have made so many new friends, rekindled lost relationships and lost a few…
On the topic of loosing relationships, a very good friend comes to mind…

I once had this very close friend, let’s call her Anna… We attended the same secondary school in Nija and have been friends ever since. Funny enough, I actually thought she was very annoying in school… She was one of those girls that you just hate to love… She was soooo annoyingly funny… She always came up with all the razz jokes that eventually became part of our high school history…

Anyway fast-forward to roughly 4 - 5 years after school; we were still very good friends… I had completed university and was working. She was in her final year in a university outside London. Every time she was in town, she stayed at my place. We became soooo close and it eventually got to a stage where she knew everything about me. We had opened up completely to each other. She was also so much fun to be around. For someone who studied outside London, she always knew what was going on in London and would drag me out. I am not usually a party girl, but around her, I loosened up and had so much fun. We were always out, looking hot and fabulous together… At that point in my life, Muffin and I were having issues, due to psycho x and she was just there for me. She introduced me to so many guys who would wine and dine me every weekend. My social calendar was full. I met all sorts of people but did not fall for any of them because my heart was still with muffin. However, there was this one guy I met, who was very nice, but he had issues… Apart from the fact that he was into fraud and was a high school dropout. He was actually a very nice God-fearing person…. I know it’s strange to describe someone who is into fraud as nice and God-fearing, but he was… Anyway, I will talk about him more in a later post.
Anna had this wonderful boyfriend who eventually became a psycho due to weed over-indulgence and she had to break up with him. It was a really hard experience for her, but I was there for her through it all. The thing is the guy was perfect for her in everyway, except for the fact that he is Igbo and she is Yoruba and their parents would have given them an extremely hard time. On top of all that, he then decided to become a crack head. They initially had the sort of relationship everyone would envy, but I guess they were not meant to be.

It was my birthday and I decided to have a party at a Thai restaurant, somewhere in central. Everyone who mattered to me was there. Muffin’s sister came with a very good friend of hers… Let’s call him Soji… Anyway, Soji and Anna hit it off. I was actually very happy for her, that she had met someone she liked again, till I found out that Soji was not really into her and he told Muffin’s sister everything that happened between them, even all the intricate (dirty) details. Things Anna had not even told me… Anyway this was the beginning of the end of our friendship, because she told Soji, who she had only known for 2 weeks all sort of lies about me…

How did I find out?

Muffin had been in Nija for a couple of months before my birthday, we started talking again before my birthday, so he came to the restaurant (late I might add…) Remember the 419, nice, God-fearing brother I mentioned earlier… well he was also there and was all over me, however, nothing was going on between us, we were just friends. But Muffin did not know this, he went mad at the sight of another man all over me and decided to spark for me, and leave. Anyway at this stage, it was obvious muffin and I still had intense feelings for each other.

Anna knew this, and a part of me felt she did not want muffin and I to get back with each other. She even went as far as telling me that muffin was looking at her ass at my birthday. She did say it playfully, but it hurt. Anyway, I knew she was joking, so I let it go.

One day, muffin’s sister asks me over to their place, and muffin starts to scream at me. I could see the intense fury in his eyes. He said all sorts of things I had no idea about... It was horrible… The love of my life called me all sorts of names… I had no room to explain anything… I was heart broken and confused. So the investigation started… To cut the long story short, it eventually turned out that Anna, my beloved friend, who I loved so much and would share every part of myself with, had been telling Soji and a few other people horrible things about me… I couldn’t believe it… I wondered why… No matter how hard I tried, I could not justify why she had done such a horrible thing… Talk about a friend you have had for years in a very horrible way to some nonentity, that did not even give a shit about her, she had only known for 2 weeks. I really do not want to go into the details of what had been said, but it was terrible… As weeks passed, it even became worse, because Muffin and I started talking again and he broke everything down to me… I had lost a friend and I had no idea why… but the good thing is, the event brought Muffin and I closer together and eventually back into our relationship…

To this day, I still have no idea why Anna did such a thing but the fact is that it happened. It has been about a year since and I have completely forgiven her, but I am still so sad when I think about it. For the first time since it happened, Muffin and I saw her at a mutual friend’s party last weekend… It was nice to see her again, but my heart really sank. I really wish she did not do those things, but then again, maybe we just were not meant to be… I lost a friend and gained a lover…

Anyway it’s Friday… Yay… I’m really happy because I get to see Muffin tonight and for the whole weekend… I just want to feel him kiss my cheeks… I really love it when he does that, because it says soooo much to me… “We have been through a whole load of drama but we are still together and I love you more each day”

Happy Friday x x

This is why I write...

OK, Like I'm so excited.... my first blog ha! done on company time too double ha ha!
Anyways.. Ive been reading several people's blogs - some friends (Miss T) and some stalkers... and even the guy whose blog keeps getting him into trouble with his girlfriend...
Anyway this blog is for me about me and me alone.... well something like that anyways. I will start by telling you a little bit about my self and hopefully, you will get to know me better as time passes by...
Why have I decided to start writing now? I'm not sure actually. I'm at a stage in life where most things are quite stable. It hasn't always been this way you know.....
I have been with my man (Lets call him Muffin - my pet name for him... When he gets upset with me or on special occasions, such as birthdays and Christmas, it is escalated to Chocolate muffin) Ok... back to what I was saying... Muffin and I have been together for going on 4 years now... Actually 4 years in April next year...It has been a relationship filled with drama... And when I say drama... I actually mean hard core x-gf drama... But I am sooo glad that everything is much more stable now... I love him to death and I know he feels the same way about me... We have actually been talking alot about the future recently and I have no doubt in my mind that this man is my husband... Anyway, we will talk more about that as time goes on...
My career is great... Graduate trainee to Project Manager in 2 years... now that is a major accomplishment.. I graduated with a 1st class from university and I have always known what I want. (THAT'S NOT REALLY TRUE.... we will get back to that..)... I have not been gifted with intelligence and good luck.. I have had to work very hard to get to where I am today, because lets just say I know where I want to get to but I am still figuring out ways to get there...
I am actually not feeling very well today... recovering from the flu but I am back at work anyway.. Project deadlines don't wait for no one..
Starting this blog actually makes me remember someone special I used to know... An amazing person, which I will talk about in later posts....
Anyway, give a Nigerian twenty-something hard working career babe, a warm welcome to blogsville... I promise to keep you entertained at least every week, with hot unbelievable gist (sometimes my life can be like a home video... lol)...

Happy Thursday x x