Why do we expect sooo much from people?

This is a topic I have been thinking about for a very long time...


Do we expect so much from people because we give too much to people or do we just expect people never to disappoint us?
These are questions I will probably never get answers to… but how do you trust someone again who has hurt you real bad in the past? How do you know you trust the person?


I usually invest a lot of time and effort in all my relationships with friends, family and boyfriends… and there are certain things which are my principles and would always be.
For example, when Muffin and I got back together, I told myself that I would love him like I have never been hurt before… A lot of people would prefer to guard their heart and just take what they can get, rather than give 100% of their time and effort to the person. I AM USUALLY QUITE OPTIMISTIC WHEN IT COMES TO PEOPLE AND I BELIEVE THAT MOST PEOPLE DO NOT SET OUT TO HURT YOU…
Some people think this is a very ignorant way of living, but because of this I think I am a very happy person except when people let me down…
Don’t get me wrong, I have been hurt by people a lot of times… When I say a lot, I actually mean a lot… and no matter how hurt I am, I always tend to be quite logical in my thinking…I will give some examples…


When Anna hurt me, I decided I would never have a close friend again. I felt so betrayed that someone I loved soooo much could hurt me soooo bad… But then I thought about the whole situation and what could have made her do what she did… I really could not find a reason, and then it finally hit me… Anna has always been a very competitive person and even though she was my friend and happy for my accomplishments, she probably felt jealous of them… You may think I am only trying to justify what she did, but many of us are guilty of the same thing… JEALOUSY DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON; IT ONLY MAKES YOU HUMAN… In the past, I have had jealous feelings of my friends a handful of times, but I have been very conscious of it and I tend to convert those negative feelings into positive ones… Like when a friend/colleague was presented with a CEO award at work, I was really happy for her but at the same time, I wondered why I hadn’t been presented with one, So instead of harbouring those negative feelings, I converted it to positive feelings of motivation and I set myself a goal that by the next time CEO awards were being presented, I will definitely be included.


When I have been hurt by boyfriends, even though I loose all trust and respect for the person, I always know that it is not about me. 99% of men will hurt a woman at one point or the other and it usually is never the woman’s fault… These things just happen.


So why are we soooo surprised and unhappy when these things happen? People are only human and they will always do what feels good to them…


Yesterday, I glanced at muffin’s phone and I saw a text from some girl who he claims is his friend… The text read… “PELE OH, I HOPE YOU ARE NOT TOO STRESSED. I MISS YOU”
What does that mean? You ask… I really did ask the same question…
This is a girl who he speaks to on the phone very regularly, who has made her feelings for him very clear and has specifically said to him that she does not want to meet me and does not want to be my friend… Obviously, her intentions are very clear… So I immediately flared up and confronted him about it... I had to be very quiet as my mum was at home… Muffin had taken the morning off work to pick my mum up from the airport, so I had to be quite discreet…
Obviously, muffin did not find it funny that I had looked at a text on his phone… After a quiet argument, I asked myself the very same question I have asked for a while… Why do we expect so much from people….? YOU WONDER WHY I ASKED…


When muffin left for work, I was sitting and watching TV with my mum as well as surfing through Facebook (I also took the day off work to spend time with my mum)… Then a text came into my phone… It read “HELLO GORGEOUS, I MISS YOU A LOT, CAN I CALL YOU? I REALLY NEED TO HEAR YOUR VOICE”


OH MY…. What would muffin have said if he saw that text? Haaaaaa, the score would have been flipped soooo bad…
By the way, this text was from a friend, I know he likes me and would want a whole lot more than friendship, and he knows I have a very important someone in my life… I have never had anything to do with him, but I really enjoy the attention I get from him… He is such a warm and lovely person, but someone I could never be in a relationship with… Plus I would never ever hurt muffin… But at the same time, it would hurt muffin if he saw the text and he would probably assume the worst… Would I call myself the names I called muffin when I found the text of his phone… Obviously not…


Now, back to my question… WHY OH WHY DO WE EXPECT SOOOO MUCH FROM PEOPLE? When we are sometimes guilty of the same pleasures? Perhaps, because we feel we know our selves so much and know what we are capable of… but we are not completely knowledgeable on the other person’s capabilities… because, if I never saw the text, I would be none the wiser and Muffin would never feel hurt regarding the text because he will never ever get to see it …


We need to try to give human beings some slack, as long as you know the person you are dealing with is human and is capable of making mistakes…



Happy Wednesday x x